Where Auke (Art) and I have met every now and then in recent decades, both in the USA and in The Netherlands, the differences between us dominated our contact. Trapped in our own clichés, we had difficulty finding, understanding, each other. The pastor and the artist, the bourgeois family man and the anarchist, the believer and the unbeliever, the good and the subversive. We previously irritated and annoyed each other.
Shortly after Matty’s death Art contacted me in April 2024, he and Anita inquired about my well-being. We wrote to each other until Art’s death in November that same year. Just as Art’s life cannot be seperated from Anita, mine cannot be seperated from Matty.
Last year during my conversation with him instead of looking at an opposite I looked in the mirror, not the differences but the similarities between us turned out to be crucial for the interest in each other.
Hereby I share some of that special ( e-mail ) correspondence; ( A=Art, E=Ed )
A:
Hi Ed: Anita and I have been thinking about you, and we are wondering how you are doing. We would love to hear from you.
E:
In this time of deep mourning it is nothing other than love that carries me. Even in times of loneliness and sometimes panic, where
the tears keep coming, it is the underlying calm that proves to be fundamental. I see my suffering and sadness as completely
normal. How could it be otherwise after such a wonderful life with Matty. I am taking my time. As stated at a Dutch Monastery
door; DEO VACARE. Being open for important life energy.
A:
Dear Ed, Your grief must go very deep after so many beautiful years with Matty. It happened to my Dad, your grandpa, when my
mother died suddenly after a one-week’s illness. She was only 55. We did not understand his grief, which I regret, but today I realize
what it must be like for you to lose Matty, although we cannot know unless we ourselves have gone through what you are going
through. We are praying for you.
E:
Thanks for sharing your personal history. My mother (Sjouk) talked a lot about her mother who died young, and the suffering it caused. A trauma. I’m beginning to understand that as long as we exclude these disruptions, the suffering, from ‘normal’ life, we increase the pain. That is also why I would like to thank you for sharing, in this crucial time in my life, your experiences that are of main importance to you. Love, Ed.
A:
We need to grief deeply, and let the grief wash over us, and talk about our grief. When I was young that was not done. When my mother died when I was 9, we never talked about her again. Death is a fact of life non of us can escape. In 1 Corinthians 15 Paul calls death our last enemy. Since I am in the last years of my life ( I’m 88 ), I often think about death, not in an obsessive or morbid way, but with a kind of curiousity.
E:
Just as I have always lived with the awareness of loss, the loss of two brothers, Sjouk (mother) also told me from an early age about her mother being the most important building block for her life. ‘Never be afraid of joy, love, sorrow and mourning’ she told me ‘because all of that deeply anchors you to existence. It is probably the motivation for it.’ From an early age she made me aware of the absolute importance of the dead for the living: the carrying silent power of family ties. The greatest progress in my life is the growing realization that I cannot move past history. Another definition of eternity is just that: the history you carry with you.
A:
You mentioned eternity, what’s your definition of eternity? Do you believe in life after death? I hope I am not asking questions I should not be asking. Our kids think that some of my questions are too invasive, but I like to know what people are thinking. Without that there is no real communication about life and death.
E:
What is eternity? That’s a good but impossible question because we, the Western people, continually destroy the possibility of eternity. We exploit and abuse the earth, the animals and our fellow human beings on a large scale. For example: The original inhabitants of North America have been exterminated by immigrants. Black people have been enslaved and exploited. Africa is still being plundered to this day. Poor people are despised and milked in our culture and millions of animals are tortured and murdered
everyday, completely unnecessarely! Capitalism equals the destruction of history, of value, of memory, of ancestors and thus of eternity. The only way to regain eternity is to participate in the destruction of Western society based on the power of big capital.
While Jesus was a radical opponent of the Roman Empire, the current Christian church seems to go hand in hand with capitalists powers. The church has forgotten that rebellion was the most important factor in Christ’s life. Perhaps rebellion is comparable with, akin to, eternity. What do you think?
A:
I, for one, do not believe that the most important part of Jesus’ life was rebellion. Yes he ‘rebelled’ against the Pharisees and other capitalists, but I believe he came as a good shepherd who knows our names, and who constantly invites us to come to him. But you are right, the capitalists of the world robbed the poor, as well as committed atrocious crimes against the innocent. Just to stay close to home, my dad, your grandpa, was making 11 guilders a week, while the farmers he worked for got richer and richer. After the war we sent soldiers to Indonesia to make sure it would remain colonized.
Fortunately we did not succeed, but I did lose a brother, Piet, in a war that should never have been. And all the atrocities in every part of the world happened the way you describe it. But I do not believe that all of that calls for the destruction of our Western society. When Jesus ushered in his kingdom, he did not want to destroy it, he wanted to transform. That’s why he promised, in Revelation 21, to make all things new. That’s what I am waiting for.
By the way, you did not answer the question whether or not you believe that there is life after we die. I do believe there is…
E:
Thoughts: Just like in the times of Jesus, in our world where we have been raised and trained to be selfish, the fair sharing of available resources (love) poses a great danger to administrative powers in our society. Unconditional love for the other provokes existing interests that are based on hierarchical economic distinction between winners and losers. Just by his loving and merciful care, dealings with women, lepers, the sick and the sexworkers, with paople at the bottom of society – the despised – and his call to
give up all possessions to give it to the poor – Jesus was seen as a provocateur, as a rebel. He sought confrontation with political power during the angry temple cleansing. When you think about the history of love and peace, from Jesus to Gandhi, from Marten Luther King to Nelson Mandela and the hippies of the 1960 s, transformation and destruction appear to be the same, implying farewell and mourning.
Life after death? I don’t know. Thinking about it.
A:
Dear Ed: I am not sure that transformation and destruction are the same thing. Jesus wanted to usher in a new kingdom, and he promised to make all things new ( Revelation 21 ). And in the process he destroys whatever does not fit in that coming kingdom.
Since I retired 24 years ago I learned that I did not do much reaching out, except to the people who were like me. Fortunately the Lord gave me a second chance by allowing me to volunteer at a local mission, and to help at a motel ministry. Unfortunately, I am not able to do this anymore. My 88 years have caught up with me.
E:
I hope to follow in your footsteps. From January 2025 I will also be officially retired. My ambition is to further develop artistry, but also want to offer my organizational skills to cultural institutions and I wish to offer my services to the Foodbank and maybe the local Hospice. I have always seen you a s a very strong, stubborn and driven person, with Anita being the guardian of gentleness, modesty and unconditional love. In other words: a beautiful and admirable duo! What we share is the need for intensity and the love for this fantastic life on earth. Our correspondence bears witness to this. I take your good advice to heart.
Love, Ed.
Did you visit the website of SOUPSHOW, the latest monumental art installation by Matty and myself ( Okt. Nov. 2023 )? It has all the ingredients of offering services for free. See: www.soupshow.eu ( english version on the site available ).
A:
Yes we watched SOUPSHOW and that’s exactly what is needed. It educates while we eat. It’s how our motel ministry is conducted:
We serve a meal, and then we offer a Bible study, without any kind of pressure. We want them to know that what Christ offers is also completely free ( Isaiah 55 ). You are right on with describing Anita. With me you can add the word ‘spoiled’, because I have been spoiled ever since I was born. I am lucky to have Anita in my life. It was one of the best days of my life when I met her. I’m sure that’s how it was with you & Matty, and that’s why your grief is so unbearable deep. But I’m sure you will continue the ministry she
and you began even after you retire.
Love to you, A & A
Ed Schoonveld
Studio Vroegop/Schoonveld
info@vroegop-schoonveld.com
www.soupshow.eu